Saturday, August 29, 2009
I guess that really depends on what type of mistake your speaking of. If you are talking about the logistics of planning, no problem. If your asking me what would I do if I didn't agree with a marriage, that's a tough call. I have tried in so many ways to give subtle hints in many of the publications that I contribute to what you should stay away from etc. The bigger question is do I have clients that should not be getting married? While I would like to answer this with specifics, let's just assume that all of us in the event industry have our own opinions of what we see as potentially being a bad fit. When we have worked with celebs and this may be their first or 3rd wedding, do you think they care what our opinions are? No. They want what everyone wants, the perfect day. Some will go to any extent to get it done, while others tread waters lightly. I will tell you one thing, we do hear this statement quite often. " I had this the last time and it didn't work, so we need something completely opposite OK Sam?" I have to admit for the record, I don't believe in the word perfect. I think we look at things that may be perfect for us...But are not necessarily perfect. Is there such a thing anyway? Is there really such a thing as a perfect marriage? Think about it. Honestly, I would probably use one of their last ideas as something borrowed or used..I mean this does fit with the wedding rules right? I am trying to be eco friendly here, bare with me ha! It's such a tough call to decide what's right or wrong. Who should be getting married and who should run to China. I have had my share and we watch them walk down the aisle only to get a call a year or so later saying it didn't work, but I think this time, it's right. OK. So who are we to say "this " time is going to be right? I have so many friends on the A list circuit and when I hear what weddings they attend and how they loved everything but the couple. It's kid of disheartening. As I always have said, it's Hollywood. So getting married 5-7 times doesn't seem abnormal. Or does it? They are living in such a world we will never understand. I have many friends who deal with bad publicity and paparazzi in their face, it's almost as though the world kind of decides their fate. That stinks! I have had some bad publicity due to a reality show where people think because it's called reality, it must be real. I have news for you, you cannot change the story line, but you can change the way things are perceived with the right music and commentary. I like many others on the tv screen have learned about the edit button the hard way. But then without drama, it wouldn't get the best ratings..But at who's expense? I have one family member who has been married 2 times already and going for #3. You would think she would just realize she's not "marriage material". I really wish she was. But after several relationships gone wrong, I would think she'd catch on. I am not worried that she will read this, as she doesn't pay much attention to anything I write. I think I'm safe. Maybe there's a part of me who secretly hopes she reads this and realizes she's making another mistake. I really think she is. And this time, it may screw her up worse than any other relationship. I really do believe there are people who are just not meant to get married. Why? Because for them, it's just a piece of paper. I mean look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel? They have a great relationship which I guarantee has had it's ups and downs. But look at Goldie, she even admits why ruin a good thing? They love each other and what's a piece of paper going to prove? I hate to say it, but Goldie does make a strong point. They are still together. I do love planning weddings and events don't get me wrong. But there is a moral obligation I have to not take on every client. And this is for many reasons. Maybe they are a bad fit for each other or for us. I think after working 18 years in the industry, I have the right to do what feels right in my heart. I am not a psychiatrist but I might as well be with all of the issues I see. I have started sharing some of this in book and I do share several anecdotes. While I have changed the names, I will always remember who they were and hope that most have lasted. Although for years people have asked how many of your clients do you think are still married. I have decided as a professional not to answer this. I think people can formulate their own opinion right? I don't think our celeb clients really need anymore trouble from press etc...They are human. My question to you, the bride or the public, is do you believe there is such a thing as a perfect relationship and what does it mean to have one? Would love to share your experiences in my book or on my blog. I am an old soul, so there is a part of me that still feels true love is right around the corner. I just know based on experience that even true love takes time and patience. What do you think?
Monday, August 24, 2009
FINANCIAL AID OFFERED TO STUDENTS,UNEMPLOYED APPLICANTS,SAHM's. Some of our local vendors have contributed to allow those who are in need of financial aid to attend this beginners course only. Please make mention this is for the CAES 100 series. We are running out of funding and our class is getting full! CAES Beginner Planning Course 100! Sept 12th 2009 For those who want to get into the industry have absolutely NO experience and want the logistics from beginning to end, this is the class for you!Please check out our website www.samanthagoldberg.com Education link. We have already reserved 6 seats and have ONLY 6 left! Please call Lacey Borman Cohen our Special Events Coordinator @ 908.219.4028 for an application to see if you are approved for this specialized course! Please mention CAES Beg Class 100 on Sept 12th 2009 as we have other classes being taught during the month of September as well. Those are advanced courses and have been filled. Please inquire about other classes when you call. For recent clients, we offer an additional $50 discount. Location 12 Bank Street Suite 201 Summit NJ 07901 Time and Date Sept 12th 2009 Time: 9:30-4pm Supplies included Breakfast and lunch provided and is included in fee ( We do not serve just roll ups! Unless of course that is what would like!) If you are coming in from out of state we have special hotel promos and transportation to the class. Please inquire if needed. Fee $699 Student Maximum 12 6 at Current We look forward to seeing you! ***Since this course is for Beginners ONLY we will have up to 2 intern dates for each student. You will be tested and will be required to work at least one event before you receive certification. You must be able to work a wedding on your own with an assistant provided by Samantha Goldberg. Posted by get real with samantha goldberg at 7:41 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hello Prospective Brides and Grooms Due to our many classes and new employees we are running a tri-state promotion (NY,NJ and PA). This promotion is limited to Sept-Jan of 2010 ONLY. Decor services by Samantha Goldberg will also be provided at a discount. Please call for our Fall Back Special 908.219.4028 for information. Ask for Lacey. Availability is limited during peak months Sept and Oct of 2009 as we have already booked other clients. Savings at over 40%!!!! So yes you can afford a planner! Distance will factor into the amount. This rate applies to 2 hours or less from Summit NJ. Minimal travel fees may apply for locations over 2 hours. We look forward to meeting you! Samantha Goldberg
For those who want to get into the industry have absolutely NO experience and want the logistics from beginning to end, this is the class for you!Please check out our website www.samanthagoldberg.com Education link. We have already reserved 6 seats and have ONLY 6 left! Please call Lacey Borman Cohen our Special Events Coordinator @ 908.219.4028 for an application to see if you are approved for this specialized course! Please mention CAES Beg Class 100 on Sept 12th 2009 as we have other classes being taught duirng the month of September as well. Those are advanced courses and have been filled. Please inquire about other classes when you call. For recent clients, we offer an additional $50 discount. Location 12 Bank Street Suite 201 Summit NJ 07901 Time and Date Sept 12th 2009 Time: 9:30-4pm Supplies included Breakfast and lunch provided and is included in fee ( We do not serve just roll ups! Unless of course that is what would like!) If you are coming in from out of state we have special hotel promos and transportation to the class. Please inquire if needed. Fee $699 Student Maximum 12 6 at Current We look forward to seeing you! ***Since this course is for Beginners ONLY we will have up to 2 intern dates for each student. You will be tested and will be required to work at least one event before you receive certification. You must be able to work a wedding on your own with an assistant provided by Samantha Goldberg.
It has been a few weeks since my last post. I feel like I am either leading to confession or the 12 step program. If there was a place for planners to do this, I would be first in line. The last 2 months have been unbelievable! While we have fabulous weddings 99% of the time, there's always a handful that you can say, this one is going to have some problems later on. Since I am hired to plan and not give marital advice, it is hard when a fellow bride asks us questions that elude to "am I making the right decision". You want to tell them flat out "STAY AWAY"! "The in laws are going to wreck your marriage and they are going to have their say in your special day whether you like it or not. Or your fiance won't even let you have your favorite colors in the venue, this is a sign that he does not respect your thoughts or opinions". It isn't as easy as choosing your wedding decor, vendors, guests and walking down the aisle. I wish this were true. It's really about communication and how it works with anything you do together. If your fiance' is a momma's boy/girl at this age, you might as well assume, this isn't going to change. It may get a bit lighter, but that's a bond that will last a lifetime. You have to accept this now, or just get out. There's no compromise 100% of the way! Marriage doesn't mean people will change for the better or make things "livable". I'm sure we can all agree that there are certain habits or peeves we have with our significant others. Some we can work with and some, we cannot change. Although, many relationships feel that once the wedding is over, everything just fits into place and we live happily ever after. Sounds great right? Sorry folks, this couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm not saying by any means that you cannot have a healthy marriage. I am mearly saying that it's going to take work. Some days your not going to see eye to eye. There many be days where some one's family has overstepped their boundaries. It's up to your partner in this case to let people know what's appropriate to get involved in. Do you know that saying "don't let them into your bedroom"? Well, it's not always meant to be about sex. It means your domain. If you are having sexual issues, I am not sure mom and dad should know about this. If you are old enough to get married, you are mature enough to handle this without them. Some of us are used to sharing EVERYTHING with our families and friends. Well, marriage kind of changes those rules. It's not like when your dating and you have smaller issues that get resolved or you break it off. Once you share intimate details about your marriage with family, you can be sure if the information you are sharing is bad, you cannot go back to having your family love them unconditionally all over again. That takes time, and there's no guarantee that things will go back to where they were. We live in a very judgemental world and there are many friends and families who are protective of their children or friends. Who can blame them? We don't want anything bad to happen to the ones we love right? but where do you draw the line? Some families no matter how hard you try, will always side with their own. Just because you marry into a family doesn't mean they will treat you like your one of them. I know this holds true for those who come from broken homes in hopes that this new found family will bring them in and treat them as an equal. Set no expectations, and whatever you receive will be a gift. I have had to follow this in many instances and it's hard. You cannot expect anyone to do anything. It's just something that they'll do, in their own time. If you both go into this union making decisions together and not involving the "outer world", you may find that you are able to conquer many things later on alone. Even if you don't agree with your partner about everything they want or need, even letting them express their thoughts is respectful. I wrote an article with Cosmo last December that mentioned how I know a couple isn't going to make it to the altar or after. Communication was key. Three out of the 5 signs I used had to do with how we are able to express our thoughts etc... Are we shot down or does the other listen and then give an opinion? There was one sign about letting the groom choose the cake. It did bring up several blogs written by men who agreed, this was important to them too. Let's be honest, it may seem like a silly thing to get into an argument over, but it's a decision and it's not really all about the bride anymore. Grooms have an opinion too. We should at least listen to what they say. Such a simple request "the cake". While you get to choose just about everything. Think about it. I will leave you with this. Yes, this Summer was challenging with a few clients. Some weddings were doomed from the start. I should have walked away. Maybe that would have changed things? Or not. I guess I will never know. I do know that with every couple where I saw issues, communication was the major reason of why it wasn't going to work, and we just went downhill from there. Sad when you invest so much time along with a large sum of money and you don't get the "happily ever after" you thought would be there in the end. The in laws still did what they needed to do to be happy whether you approved it or not, people still complained about how you only thought of yourselves by not allowing them to bring the kids. Like I said, marriage can be a wonderful thing if you don't set any expectations about the day or even afterwards. Letting things go with the flow as we say, allows for a lasting marriage in most cases. While certain things that we cannot change have to be figured out first. They don't get resolved after the nuptials. Trust me...From a former bride still married with children!
I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!
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