Saturday, August 29, 2009
How Does A Planner Stop A Major Mistake?
I guess that really depends on what type of mistake your speaking of. If you are talking about the logistics of planning, no problem. If your asking me what would I do if I didn't agree with a marriage, that's a tough call. I have tried in so many ways to give subtle hints in many of the publications that I contribute to what you should stay away from etc. The bigger question is do I have clients that should not be getting married? While I would like to answer this with specifics, let's just assume that all of us in the event industry have our own opinions of what we see as potentially being a bad fit. When we have worked with celebs and this may be their first or 3rd wedding, do you think they care what our opinions are? No. They want what everyone wants, the perfect day. Some will go to any extent to get it done, while others tread waters lightly. I will tell you one thing, we do hear this statement quite often. " I had this the last time and it didn't work, so we need something completely opposite OK Sam?" I have to admit for the record, I don't believe in the word perfect. I think we look at things that may be perfect for us...But are not necessarily perfect. Is there such a thing anyway? Is there really such a thing as a perfect marriage? Think about it. Honestly, I would probably use one of their last ideas as something borrowed or used..I mean this does fit with the wedding rules right? I am trying to be eco friendly here, bare with me ha! It's such a tough call to decide what's right or wrong. Who should be getting married and who should run to China. I have had my share and we watch them walk down the aisle only to get a call a year or so later saying it didn't work, but I think this time, it's right. OK. So who are we to say "this " time is going to be right? I have so many friends on the A list circuit and when I hear what weddings they attend and how they loved everything but the couple. It's kid of disheartening. As I always have said, it's Hollywood. So getting married 5-7 times doesn't seem abnormal. Or does it? They are living in such a world we will never understand. I have many friends who deal with bad publicity and paparazzi in their face, it's almost as though the world kind of decides their fate. That stinks! I have had some bad publicity due to a reality show where people think because it's called reality, it must be real. I have news for you, you cannot change the story line, but you can change the way things are perceived with the right music and commentary. I like many others on the tv screen have learned about the edit button the hard way. But then without drama, it wouldn't get the best ratings..But at who's expense? I have one family member who has been married 2 times already and going for #3. You would think she would just realize she's not "marriage material". I really wish she was. But after several relationships gone wrong, I would think she'd catch on. I am not worried that she will read this, as she doesn't pay much attention to anything I write. I think I'm safe. Maybe there's a part of me who secretly hopes she reads this and realizes she's making another mistake. I really think she is. And this time, it may screw her up worse than any other relationship. I really do believe there are people who are just not meant to get married. Why? Because for them, it's just a piece of paper. I mean look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel? They have a great relationship which I guarantee has had it's ups and downs. But look at Goldie, she even admits why ruin a good thing? They love each other and what's a piece of paper going to prove? I hate to say it, but Goldie does make a strong point. They are still together. I do love planning weddings and events don't get me wrong. But there is a moral obligation I have to not take on every client. And this is for many reasons. Maybe they are a bad fit for each other or for us. I think after working 18 years in the industry, I have the right to do what feels right in my heart. I am not a psychiatrist but I might as well be with all of the issues I see. I have started sharing some of this in book and I do share several anecdotes. While I have changed the names, I will always remember who they were and hope that most have lasted. Although for years people have asked how many of your clients do you think are still married. I have decided as a professional not to answer this. I think people can formulate their own opinion right? I don't think our celeb clients really need anymore trouble from press etc...They are human. My question to you, the bride or the public, is do you believe there is such a thing as a perfect relationship and what does it mean to have one? Would love to share your experiences in my book or on my blog. I am an old soul, so there is a part of me that still feels true love is right around the corner. I just know based on experience that even true love takes time and patience. What do you think?
I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!
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