Thursday, June 11, 2009
Your Friend The Blogger Their Jealous OK?
One thing I never thought I would have to deal with is a friend who was jealous enough to post terrible information about me in a public chat room. You never think that this could happen to you especially when you share your frustrations about the business and just life in general. You never think someday, it can backfire on you.
I remember reading a website called "I Hate Rachel Ray.com". I thought to myself how could anyone be so vicious as to participate in something so insensitive. Could we call this jealousy, or just plain being rude? Rachel had just stated out at this point and she found out who it was. It was an old colleague. I was mortified for her.
Who would actually make the time to say these things? What would make someone do it I asked myself. And then it dawned on me, the green devil comes out no matter what you think about people. That saying "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer". I am not sure I agree with that.
I actually was given some information about this poster and wonder what do I do? Do I confront them? Do I press charges for defamation of character? Furthermore, why was it done? I can go with the whole jealousy issue, but why be jealous over a friend or someone you know because you want what they have? It's not like there's a shortage of brides.
I've worked very hard to get to where I'm at. It wasn't given to me on a silver platter. The more I grow and noted as so, the more criticism follows. I remember a producer at Style telling me any publicity is good. It means you have a made an impact. I am not sure I want this type of attention especially if it's negative.
I work on shows that are National and International. Everyone who reads the postings in any chat room can form their own opinion. But it still stinks!
What I need is some unbiased opinions. What would you do if you found out someone you know is talking smack about you? Have you ever run into this? What did you do?
At this point I don't care about rekindling a business relationship...I just want to know why they said these things. They are hurtful and untrue.
I know you have all faithfully followed by blogs and I thank you for doing so. I thought if anyone could understand this, you would.
What would you do? I found out this persons secret "identity" through an attorney and now it's my choice if I choose to press charges or let it go? I am having problems letting it go. If it's not this person, it will be someone else. Right?
Thanks for listening!
xxoox
Sam
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7 comments:
Sam, you are extremely talented and your quirky personality and wedding expertise must make many other planners out there want to pull their hair out in frustration to see how far you have made it. On the flip side, you have worked your butt off to get to where you have and these people "haters" so to speak instead of saying anything about you to others should try to learn from you to help gain insight into life and the business.
All the best!
~Jill
I've realized in life that some people are not happy unless they are able to cause turmoil and strive in others' lives. People only see what they choose to see (oftentimes the ending result of your blood, sweat, and tears). I completely understand your hurt and frustration about the matter and I would pursue legal action. This will most likely nip it in the bud and show that attacks against your character are not taken lightly.
Thanks for sharing,
O.
Wow. I don't know how someone could do that to a friend but it's apparent that they don't have the same feelings as you did towards the relationship. If it were me, I would confront the person and ask why they would do such a thing. Let them live with the guilt of being such a rude and jealous person. Like you said in your blog post, you have worked hard for everything you have in your life and no one should be trying to ruin that, especially not a so called friend.
Good luck, Sam. And as always, your work is absolutely amazing and I love reading your blog!
Thank you everyone. I have decided to follow your advice and take legal action. So tempting to go public, but would never want someone to feel as humiliated as I do regarding this issue. Can't say the thought hasn't passed my mind yet. Maybe I will get closure and that's all I'll need.
Ahhhh really hate the green monster, this reminds me of that movie "Mean Girls"...LOL
I appreciate the comments.
Thanks again!
xoxox
Sam
Boyee, I wish I found out about your dilemma weeks ago to post my opinion but I will still post anyway, hope you don't mind :).
I think it's sad that your friend has to result to such childish behavior. You would think that being an adult would make people grow into mature people but sometimes people don't. I have been on both ends of this equation. Depending on how close you and your friend are depends on your course of action. In the end, it's your final decision.
Because I've been in this situation I confronted the person who was talking bad about me. It wasn't easy but I asked why was this person saying those things about me. It is then I realized that people don't like being confronted for something they did and they will do one of two things #1 flat out lie or #2 confess and apologize.
I'm also being honest here and have found myself on the jealous end as well. I never resulted in bashing the person but when I realized that the green eye monster was controlling my feelings, I took a deep look at myself and asked why am I feeling this way. That's when I decided that I and the man upstairs are the creato of my destiny and jealousy has no room for it.
My heart goes out to you and know that you will press on. I've followed your work since you've been on 'Whose Wedding Is It Anyway,'and am impressed with how far you've come!
Sorry this is long.... Happy Independence Day!
Jeannette
Your response was far from long and I am speechless that you took the time to write such a heartfelt message.
Seems like lately I find turning to fans and peers for advice has always been positive.
It has been a struggle as I really know now who is trying to hurt my success and feelings. So personal and I find myself asking why?
I have decided at this point not to confront her. Deep down, she knows I am aware. I have made it known to others we know in common that I did pursue the anonymous poster and paid a hefty price to get this info. Some would say who cares, just walk away.
You were right there are 2 answers and this gal would deny it...Until I show her paperwork..But why bother? It's done.
You are right about the green monster. I think we all see it...some just take it to another level. There are many things I would like to have, but would never hurt anyone to get it.
I couldn't do it.
I can tell you, I am finally at peace because my gut proved to be true. It was worth every dime. Maybe someday I will humiliate her by sharing with the public who she is. I never like to speak ill of anyone, so just listing her horrible messages and placing a name to them should be enough.
This may sound harsh, but how else do you stop it? I knew when I ventured into a more noted positon and voice in this industry that not everything was going to be pleasant.
As my agent has told me, any publicity is good, why focus on 5 or 6 bad items when you have thousands that are great? Maybe she's right. It still stings in the worst way.
Thank you so much for making me feel better, I am not able to thank everyone for their support as we have several supportive and wonderful people out there who email us. I hope if any of you are reading this, this also is meant for you!
Jeannette I just wanted to thank you personally. Your post was honest and just very heartfelt.
I don't think many people would admit to being jealous...It shows you have class. That's a hard word to come to terms with.
This is something I appreciate more than you know!
Thank you Thank you!
Samantha
Hi Sam,
I am so happy that I am able to help in some way. It’s not a problem for me to write in depth. I am a grant writer by profession therefore I’m used to writing and expressing how I feel.
For years I’ve been following and admiring your work. I know good people when I see them and you are definitely one of them.
I will be checking your blog out more often…it’s so interesting!
I truly appreciate your comments and thank you.
Have a great evening :)
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