How Do We Know They're The One?

I'm not sure why we always focus on what the girl thinks. Maybe we feel we are a superior breed. Now, I'm not denying it. Gals rule plain and simple. How many cool things we get to experience during wedding planning! The likelihood of a man telling me "Sam, this was exactly what I've been dreaming of since I was 4. I'd probably retire. I have sat through several meetings. If you want me to get into how many? I would say on average about 30 meetings a week. You'd think by the time I reach #30, I get a bit burnt. Well for me, it's the opposite. I just love people. Maybe that's why we just connect after the first meeting. I know it's not my verbal "drugging". Although, speaking of drugs, I have a funny story about a married couple. This couple is an older one. In their late 50's...Wife decides that husband is developing Bi-Polar tendencies and decides to lace his drinks with Zoloft. I have to mention this wife, had some MAJOR issues herself, but the drugging story I had to tell! Did it help? No. The wife ended up with divorce papers under her pillow last Christmas. Call it a gift. Maybe the Zoloft gave one of them some balls to end it. It was a lost cause. BUT the story, cracks me up. She said I was welcome to blog about it. Well I wouldn't have if she said not to, or would I? Anyway this leads into my gut and how I can tell a couple is not going to make it. I'm not saying I'm psychic, but come on, after meeting thousands of people, I do have an inkling of what is going to make it past the altar. I have had several couples that just love to argue. It's their MO. Is it healthy? No. But to sit thorough it makes me realize my arguments about boxers around the house is so minimal. Specific things I look for 1. Can they make solid decisions together about the planning in general. Does he cut her off, does she stop him from expressing his ideas? 2. Is budget the one area which rubs him/her the wrong way? I mean, how do you expect to have 300 guests with a $30,000 budget? If you break it down per person it may be $100, but is that enough to get you everything you need? Your going to have to cut something out. It's usually something on our end. Having KFC or Waffle House may work for some, maybe that's why the Colonel wore white right? Ha! Bet you never thought that! It's always the shoes! OK. I know $1000 for a pair of Manolo B's is pricey but heck your feet deserve to be pampered too right? I don't think he's going to complain seeing you in the after wear "sassy" with 4 inch heels. Instead he's going to forget about that price tag and reap the rewards. This is a VERY common problem. 3. You have one who likes to be in the lime light, and the other who wants something simple. Let's look at Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. They were together for 7 years. She is a very next door kind of gal (well she is great at faking it) Last night on Jay Leno, that gal had one hot body! And she flaunted it quite well. Several of our male friends were howling for her. I say good for Jenn. Librarian in person and temptress in the bedroom. But she's a simple gal and don't forget it! Brad on the other hand, likes to be in the light all of the time. I mean he did marry temptress Angelina. In my opinion, anyone with a name like that is going to be the center of attention! Who do you think really wears the pants in that relationship? This leads me to.... 4. Grooms that don't allow the bride to express her dreams. I know that most of our brides get carried away. I mean, look at all of the cool ideas out there. Endless details and so many choices. It's enough to make most crazy. I'm not saying grooms should allow every wish, but at least prioritize what makes the most sense. if you shut out all of it, what your doing is stealing her thunder. That's not only going to put you in the dog house, but may cut you off from other areas too. I'm not going there. Actually who hasn't been there? I know you have heard the saying... You give me big rock, and I'll give you a rock that you won't forget buddy! My suggestion before you get into this process is to find every one's priorities. No surprises. It's a much better way to start and guaranteed less stress. You know the drill folks, you have to have a plan. Start with a preliminary budget, guest list and wants vs needs. I know some may seem unrealistic, but once you hear their side it may not seem so weird. Trust me! Even my husbands obsession with Grey Goose seemed weird. I mean who cares! But it made him happy. I gave up the extra 30Ft of Venetian hour, but I gained a pain free process. I know he felt quite ill after indulging on a martini bar and will probably never drink that much again. See lesson learned! I was a happy bride! Have any fun stories to share? You guys are great at sending them to me personally. I like to share! But, I can't help others without your experiences. xoxox sam