Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Brides Have You Made Guidelines For Your Bridesmaids?

The hot topic of the week is Brides who make contracts or set guidelines for their bridesmaids. OK. I can totally understand wanting everyone to wear the same dress, color, shoes and maybe even the same jewelery. It looks great in photos. When I was planning my wedding, I wanted the "Katherine Hepburn" appeal. Hair pulled back, long black gloves and a simple bracelet I had bought them as a gift. Everyone seemed to like this dress except for one person and that one person was my sister. Don't get me started on that story. Everyone has drama. Believe me when I tell you I had DRAMA alright. Starting with my grandmother, my mother, my sister everyone but my dog...I just began to let their comments slip in and out. What else could I do? If I let them destroy the celebration of an exciting union, why even have it? Brides, there is always going to be someone in your bridal party who does not like the dress, the shoes, she does not want to wear her hair up, she does not want a tan...whatever. I say choose your battles with this one. How important is it to ruin a friendship over hair up or down, fake tan or white as milk? Think about it. So what do you do? You have to work it out. These gals are probably people that have been in your life for quite sometime or maybe someone who you have a deeper connection with and have met maybe a year ago. Weigh it out. I know things can get out of hand when you all go out and choose a dress together, but I want to you give some perspective to what they may feel confident in. Aesthetically, we want everything to match. As much as you want this "universal" look, some bodies are not proportioned the same way as others. It may also make someone feel worse about a weight problem or " cleavage issue". I know the men don't mind the latter..LOL If you have weight as an issue with some and other problems with others wouldn't it be smart to set some guidelines as to what color you want, embellishments or not, length and let them find a dress that makes them feel confident and beautiful too? I know your bridesmaids want to make you feel proud. I get calls from bridesmaids all of the time asking me how do I tell "Cindy" this dress makes me feel fat? I feel so bad...But it does not look good on me. That's tough. I just thought I would give you something to think about. Isn't this day supposed to celebrated with our nearest and dearest? Give it some thought. If you get a chance, I have an article in the NY Times coming out this Thursday about how far one of my Brides went with this "universal" look. She lost 2 friends after 20 years...Sad!

2 comments:

Adriana.Silva120 said...

I love your posts. =) They are so insightful. I'm really looking forward to working with either your company or Jenny Orsini's company for my 2011 wedding... I have a long way to go though, lol.

A few quick questions though (that you can totally choose not to answer!):

-Is it okay to book a venue and then bring in an outside caterer, or is that taboo?

-Is 200 people on a $20-30K budget practical? Can I even afford a planner on that budget?

-How far in advance do I have to start planning the details?

Thanks!

Ashley Troyer said...

Samantha... good points! I'm so glad that the industry is moving towards what makes the girls look beautiful rather than having cookie cutter Barbie dolls all dressed up like twins... Pet peave numero uno of weddings. Let them be themselves! We all have arm fat and maybe something we just don't want to show... so let them hide it and their smile will be brighter on the day of! :)
--3 Ashley

I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!

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