Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Did you ever notice??? Old loves come back, when new ones are in our lives?
I know all of you at least once in your lifetime have experienced a call from an ex while dating someone new. It's like they get a call from g-d saying, call Samantha, she's happy with someone else now. Test her and see if she is really happy. One conversation I seem to have with most of my clients before they tie the knot is about the guy who didn't make it to the finish line. This awesome man who was so fabulous with romance, saying the right things and made us laugh so hard is gone? But now he's back? Why must I be tested? The sad thing is these men who we have always put high on a pedestal always find their way back to us when we are most vulnerable. Why is that you ask with a smile? You know what, I have no idea. I know I have been there. I may be married and happy, but even as a married woman I still have the occasional ex find his way back to me. It is SO weird when I tell them I am married now with a daughter etc....I think the weirdest feeling was seeing my first boyfriend at a reunion and telling him all about my life today. It felt good and totally WEIRD at the same time. He did look amazing....But that was my 15 year old heart speaking to me. I loved those days! I had a recent bride who flirted with fire before she tied the knot. She received a request on Facebook from an old boyfriend. Actually, this was the guy who she was VERY serious with before she met the man she was going to marry. So as she and I are tying up loose ends before the big day, she decides to meet this ex for coffee. I try not to get involved with any ones private life during our business relationship. It always finds a way to get in before the end! So she told me about this meeting and wanted to know if this was a sign that she was marrying the right guy? You can only imagine the position I was in. So what did I tell her you ask? I told her to follow her gut. It's hard to say follow your heart in this situation. The emotion and the mind..Oh so different. I have been where she is. I can only tell you, she made the right decision. She saw the ex and told him this was her goodbye. I think she needed to gather why this person was so intriguing to her. Marriage is scary, it's change. Several men and women are scared of change. So we find reasons to avoid it. That's why we always look back to the "way things were". It's safe...It makes us smile. Even as a planner, I still have days where I wish I could have the life I had before marriage. But then, I would not have all of the great memories I have now with my daughter and my husband. It's a catch 22. I guess I am just grateful in the end that I have such wonderful memories. I've met some great people in my life. Some ended on a bad note which made it easier to forget, but some just ended. At the time, I never had a good enough explanation of why, so I held on to this person for the wrong reasons. Still to this day, I do not have the answers for some. I still have the wonderful memories. In the end, that's all that matters. What I wanted and where they were, it would never have worked. Life has a funny way of working things out right? I know this question comes up more often than we want to admit. I just wanted to share this story for the gals who question the relationship towards the end of the engagement. It's ok to be scared. It's ok to question about making the right decision about marriage. It's change. And change can be really great! Only you will truly know if this is the type of change that will make you a better person right?
I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!
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