Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Breaking Up With Your Friends

One thing I have never really given much thought to is... I've broken up with 12 friends during my life. There are times where I know the reason and sometimes there's no reason at all. Have you ever been friends with someone and one day you just don't talk anymore? You try to think about something you may have done, you rack your brains going through every conversation you've had with this person and yet you find nothing. It's just over. You don't get closure. You almost have to find it on your own. What's the deal with this you ask? I have asked myself the same question. As I've gotten older (I say this meaning my age.... NOT looks or behaviour ha), I see myself gravitating towards a specific type of friend. One who is happy for what happens to others around them, ones who are happy with who they are and where they are in their lives and ones that always aspire to do more. At the end of the day, these people are always happy to just be there for you and with you. So they say we always have a few bad apples around us that need to go away. The negative people who cannot be happy for us. I don't believe they mean harm, I feel they honestly don't know how to be happy for someone else. You can be beautiful, successful and sweet as pie and they still find a way to cut you down. Why? Are we easy targets? Keeping toxic people around you can be so damaging to your self esteem. I've been in this position and never understanding why I become so saddened if I have all of these great things going on. I should be happy right? But if you can't even tell the people around you the good things, what's the point in sharing? Have you ever had toxic people who just seem to carry a black cloud over them wherever they go? It's sad you become afraid to tell them anything good or happy you may have going on. Your afraid of how they may respond. I call these gals Debbie Downers. Some are so bad you might as well ask them to slit your wrists their so depressing. Why do we attract this? It has to be a test, I am savvy. There's another type of friend I've tried to stay clear of. The "advice giver". They continue to offer advice even when you don't ask for it. When you don't follow their "words of wisdom" and something goes wrong, they are happy to tell you they told you so? This kind of sounds like my mother. The one who always offers her advice and doesn't take no for an answer. Why can't we just say NO THANK YOU and have them be ok with that? Why oh Why? The friend who is self absorbed... Everyone is self-absorbed to some extent, but when a person is always focused on herself and never lets you share anything about yourself, something needs to give. She may not even be aware that she's doing this. You have to tell her. If she can't curb this trait and you don't want the friendship to end, limit how long you let her go on about herself; then give yourself equal air time. Do we have to fight for airtime too? Can't have a good friendship without fighting for airtime right? I'm just wondering if this is a 40 something process...It's called clean house in my opinion. Are you guys with me on this one?


Marie-Cel said...

omg Sam I just went thru this with a "friend" last week. I started to question my other friendships. All the "kinds of friends" you describe are ones I have and do not have around me. I think its something everyone goes through. As awful as it is to "break up", I think these experiences happen to help us better ourselves and realize we are all different, everyone who enters our lives were there for a reason at that point in our lives.

Las Vegas Wedding Concierge said...

I never want to break up with you Sam!

Blog LUV Award~ You have been tagged as one of my top 10 blog picks! Take a moment to spread the LUV around.

get real with samantha goldberg said...

Thanks Tracey! I never want to break up with you! LOL

I was thinking...

I mean over analyzing my friendships and thought, I have lost 12 friends in my lifetime! Seems like such a large number. But when you compare it to how old I am I guess 12 is nothing!

I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!

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