Thursday, January 1, 2009

Rush To The Altar! Ummm Why?

It's that time of year again. 19% of Americans get engaged and are ready to plan the event of a lifetime. Some have been planning this since they were in the womb and others since the day they knew they found the "one". I'm going to share a secret, maybe .000001% of the brides who walk into our offices are that type. I didn't even know what I wanted and I do this for a living. In fact, it was even harder for me because there were so many ideas. This last year was REALLY interesting for us. We received 5 calls from women who were not engaged yet, had already found their dress, venue, florist and band/DJ. I fee complimented when someone asks to retain our services for the year 2015, but lets be realistic, I may be on QVC by then selling weddings in a box. I may be marrying people 80 and over! Does anyone REALLY know what they are doing that far ahead? Now how do you respond to someone who has all of the ingredients for a wedding, but little to no foundation to make it work? I hate to say it, but the BLUNT Samantha came out. I was tactful, but I had to be realistic about what they wanted. I mean, some I had to ask, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Do you have anyone in your life right now that could potentially be a lifetime partner? Is there a GUY yet? You'd be surprised some of the responses I received. One had a boyfriend and knew for sure he was the one. They had not talked about engagement, but she already knew she was getting a ring or at least she thought maybe she would get one soon. They had been together for a few months, and I know this means nothing when your older or certain of what you want, but this gal was 22. Is being the age of 22 a good place to be with regard to saying you know this is it? Even if you've only been together for a few months? Is she "fesjf" crazy? Marriage is not like TV..It's a place that takes a mature mindset. I have to say, I don't agree with people who get married right after they receive their ID to get into bars. There's just NO substance. I've had brides who are 19 or 20 who want to retain our services. We just can't do it. What can you serve at the reception for the B or G? While all of your guests toast on Champagne, you give them Shirley Temples? Heck you cannot even rent a rental car until your 24 in certain states! I know this may seem harsh, but there has to be a thought process here. And a fake ID is NOT the process I'm going after. Weddings can be dry. No issues with that! But what is the right age to say, I'm ready to make that move? I have been researching this one and not a book, magazine or video shows us the way! The advice I have given, heard and read about is plan and simple. When you are ready to care for yourself and be selfless with someone else, have experienced things such as having your own place, being established in a career, are able to make change when need be, your on the right road. I know several women worry if you get past 28 you better hurry because your going to get too old and your eggs are going to rot. Well, I don't know about you, but I would give anything to be 28 again and I have friends in the process of turning the big "40" who are still not at that place yet! And it's OK! I just turned the BIG "40" in December. I really did not think it was a big deal. I don't feel older, I know I definitely don't act older (most likely have regressed) and looks wise, I don't think I look 40. Maybe it's this great new makeup? Who cares, what matters is I feel OK about it. I have one daughter and may want one more. So what If I have old eggs...Then the new child will have a very old soul! So here it is. You can't put an age on when marriage is right, but you can determine where you are in your life along with a current relationship and use this as a road map. Peggy Post has no response. Peggy we need advice on this one! Life experience ladies. Have you had enough of it is the question? Can you honestly say, you've done enough things where you won't have regrets? I'm not saying date 1000 people, I'm merely saying, have you decided on the things that make you a better person? Have you fulfilled what's going to make you whole later on? A person can only compliment what you have already. They cannot assist you in finding who you are. In conclusion, I hope I have shed some light on the whole engagement process. If you rush it, you can never go back to square 1. If you meet a magnificent person, they will still be there while you are figuring out what makes you tick. If they leave, then it wasn't the right time or the right guy. Who says they won't be back later? And if they do come back, maybe you won't want them because you'll be in a different place! Think about it. Honestly, you have nothing but time! Enjoy it!

1 comment:

Allison Matto said...

I couldn't agree more, Sam. I too rushed into a marriage when I was 23 years old because I was in love with the idea of the big wedding and happily ever after. If I had taken some time to think and really look into the future, I would have seen that he was not the right guy for me and that I was too young to be making such a huge commitment. Thankfully we parted ways after 18 months of marriage and were young enough to find the right people down the line. I married my current husband at 33 and it was so different. I was much older, much wiser and so much happier.

I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!

Not That Sassi Planner Again???

Bling and Pearls Can Be The Icing on The Cake!

Bling and Pearls Can Be The Icing on The Cake!
Too Good Too Eat.

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