Friday, April 3, 2009

I found This In The NY Times.....Brides and Grooms That Fire Their Planner..

While sometimes you just don't click with your planner, here's some reasons of why this may happen. You may have a bride or groom whose not going to be happy with you no matter what you do. At this point I would say it's not personal. Just not a good match...Actually it is personal, they just don't like your personality. It has happened to all of us....TRUST ME. Have you ever walked into a room and you know some one is checking you out with the evil eye, they don't even know you, but you can feel they already hate you? Why? How? Good question! I do have an issue with this article in that it never tells the side of the planner. It may not be a good personalty match, but this has NOTHING to do with the planners ability. It doesn't mean you are bad at what you do. So when you guys get down about a couple going elswehere, I want you to remember, it's not always your issue. It's theirs! Heck, we have a few clients who get upset for various reasons. Maybe they are having a bad day, maybe their finances are going downhill and our fee is adding more fuel to the fire. If that's the case, to let them go is not always a bad thing. Your also going to hate my suggestion. Find a way to make your fee less expensive. Why lose a client over a few $$$. Your job is to keep them calm. Isn't it? In the 18 years where I've saved clients tons of money, no matter how hard I worked on their account, it was never hard enough. I wasn't allowed to have a cold, I wasn't allowed to reschedule. This was mmost apparent when I fell ill with Heparin. This couple didn't care, they said they came to NJ for me and I wasn't there. Did I deliver? I certainly did! I realized we've had a few clients who just didn't care. They hired us for one reason. That was to make their wedding perfect. Well since there is no such thing as perfection. I don't need to tell you, I broke the chain of perfect! I survived and so will all of you who write to me asking why people get mad at you for things that are out of your control. Why do clients fire planners? For the same reason you may let them go...Bad timing, bad fit it's just plain bad. Isn't your and the clients happiness why you are doing this anyway? Think about what I am saying when you begin to beat yourself up over a client yelling at you. No one has the right to make you feel like you are bad news...And you know how I feel about people who treat others w/o respect in this business. Like Donald Trump says "YOUR FIRED"....It may hurt now, but your both better off in the end. When you lay in bed at night thinking of why this happened or worrying they may fire you all you are doing is wasting your energy on something that is going no where. Do you guys remember the Star Jones issues? I mean she very well might have been a nightmare, she fired many planners and florists. Maybe the ones she chose were not her speed? Savvy? Or maybe she was a beast as they described her. No one will know but Star and who she worked with right? Now onto the article.... SAYING “I do” to a wedding planner can be the second most important vow a newly engaged couple makes. With people marrying later, more women working and weddings growing ever splashier, many couples are hiring planners to help sort through the dizzying choices concerning the location, invitations, flowers, photographers, color schemes, D.J.’s, bands, lighting, place cards, centerpieces, cakes and fog machines, to name a dozen. But as the wedding planning field expands, some couples are finding that planners, like a broken engagement, can cause heartache. David Mandel of Los Angeles, an executive producer of the HBO program “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and his bride, Dr. Rebecca Whitney, hired and dismissed two consultants because they were “planzillas.” “It was like we had this mutual enemy — our wedding planner,” Mr. Mandel recalled. “We were not sleeping well. It was beyond miserable.” The first, who Mr. Mandel said was “very well known in Los Angeles,” dropped out of sight for a month after the first meeting with the couple. The second tried to steer them to a hotel in Palm Springs with which she frequently did business. The proposed wedding approached $1 million, “hundreds of thousands of dollars more than we originally thought,” Mr. Mandel said. “She was getting 20 percent of whatever our wedding was going to cost, so she was negotiating in her best interest, not ours.” Finally, Mr. Mandel and his bride, a pediatrician, found a third planner they liked. They were happily wed last New Year’s Eve in New York, at Cipriani 42nd Street. The couple’s experience was not all that rare, as even some wedding planners acknowledge. “I’ve been doing this my whole life, long enough to know that some of us in this business are a little full of ourselves,” said Marcy Blum, a New York planner who got in on the ground floor of the field in 1986, when the number of planners nationwide was fewer than a thousand. “In fact,” she said, “a lot of wedding planners are entering the field with no training, so buyer beware.” The average cost of a wedding is now $27,852, Condé Nast Bridal Media says. Typically, the planner — there are about 10,000 in the United States, according to Gerard J. Monaghan, a founder of the Association of Bridal Consultants — receives about 20 percent of the total. Others charge a flat fee, from several hundred dollars to as much as $100,000. Selecting a planner, or as they often prefer to be called, a wedding coordinator, can be tricky, especially if just what she or he can bring to the banquet table is not spelled out. “A couple should sit down with a planner before hiring that person and ask a lot of questions,” said Leslie Price, an owner of In Any Event in New York. “Both sides need to fully understand each other’s expectations.” Many couples use planners because they want to avoid the headache of directing an event that can quickly metamorphose into something along the lines of a major awards show. Jacqueline C. Gordon, a homemaker in Derwood, Md., grew tired of the “checking and re-checking” of “every little thing” when her first daughter married. So, for her second daughter’s wedding, she hired a planner, and, as a result, she said, “I basically showed up.” But the experience of Jennifer Rudin and Glen Pearson was far different. “We just didn’t connect with our planner on any level,” said the bride, the director of casting and talent development at Disney Theatrical Productions in New York. The couple, who were married in September 2005 at the Ritz-Carlton, Huntington Hotel and Spa in Pasadena, Calif., said the hotel required a planner, and recommended one. The couple say they sat with her in a bar at the hotel and flicked through photos of other people’s weddings, while she pitched themes (Hawaiian? Italian?), colored margaritas and her brother, the fantastic wedding photographer. “It was always about her,” Ms. Rudin Pearson said, “never about us.” In the end they dropped that planner and chose one of their own.


Michelle@Memorable Events said...

I had to break a commitment with my first bride this year. It was a really hard decision but like you said it was in both of our best interest, we just didn't click. Thank you for posting this, it helped me feel better about my choice.

get real with samantha goldberg said...

Michelle I am so glad I made you feel better. There is nothing worse than having to "break off" a relationship with someone who you tried so hard to make it right and it just wasn't happening.

This may not be the last time it happens. The longer you are in business the more successful you become, the more common this may be. I have learned this.

It does hurt, I'm not saying it's easy. It definitely does get easier. You have no idea how strong these issues make us.

Heck there are days when brides or just anyone that watches the show WWIIA has a field day with me (possibly) doing something wrong.

I don't want to be put on a platform like that! I'm not perfect by ANY means!

Unfortunately, this happens when you leave yourself open to criticism. TV is the best for this LOL...

Be strong fellow planner in crime! I am always here for you if you need to vent! We have all been there.


Detail Diva Events said...

Hey Samantha,

Thanks for posting this. I have been feeling miserable that a co-worker (I'm brand new in the business) is getting married so I offered to give her the full wedding planning package as pro-bono because I so much need the experience. Needless to say, it has been about 4 months of her planning and not once has she approached me, not even for advise. I felt so miserable for weeks and even thought of not pursuing this career but then I remembered your wise advises (I was in your Oct class) and I am still here and still going. It is tough but maybe she just simply doesn't like me or thinks I'm not experienced enough for her wedding even if I'm offering free service to her. Thanks again.

Ketty Gonzalez

get real with samantha goldberg said...


Of course I remember you!

You are always welcome to shadow me if you want more experience.

I want you to know that sometimes when we give FREE people don't realize just how valuable services are while planning. There are MANY people who do appreciate it too.

This has nothing to do with you. It's not about like/dislike. And if you are not getting constructive feedback, say GOODBYE!

It hurts, I do understand how you feel. I really do. You want people to admire and trust you. You want to feel appreciated. All planners want this. Every BIG name you see, has the same issues.

It's hard not to show emotions on your sleeve. especially when you give your heart and soul into this. ONLY YOU CAN KNOW HOW GOOD YOU ARE! If you question your ability, people do pick up on that.

As I've mentioned I have been put through the ringer many times. It does bother me. I am not afraid to say this. I am human. You are human and we would not be if we had no feelings.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

Maybe you need to give this bride a can of Samantha Whip Ass! If she doesn't treat you with respect and dignity, it's time to say BYE!

It's NOT YOU! I trained you and I know what I saw last year! You don't take crap KG!

Don't start now...You are going to progress and there will be ups and downs. I told you this in class.

Be strong and know, you are good at what you do! If someone can't appreciate your greatness, it's OK to say goodbye.


I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!

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